Chinese Candy Recalled After Reports of some Bursting into Flame

Funny story written by Jeff Brone

Saturday, 4 October 2008

image for Chinese Candy Recalled After Reports of some Bursting into Flame
Woah mamma!

A beloved Chinese candy is being pulled from world markets because some of it has caught fire when exposed to sunlight or air.

The "Chairman Mao Happy Bunny Fun Drops" which also go by the name "People's Republic Productivity Reward Sweet Treats" were found to spontaneously combust on several instances. No one was harmed, but the government thought it best to take the candy off the shelves just to be on the safe side.

A spokesman for the company stated "We all know the candy contained traces of berillium and ammonia, and the government always looked the other way when it came to the ash content, but this really comes out of nowhere. I don't know how a piece of candy can catch fire at all. Is it even chemically possible?"

As he mused, he shook his head and extinguished a breath mint.

The president of the company reiterated his support for his products. "Red Morning Candy has always made a fine product, from our "Fish Sauce Bubble Gum" to our "Rice and Ginger Chews."

"We hope to put this unfortunate incident behind us. Any candy that was a danger has been confiscated and destroyed, which was pretty easy to do given the circumstances. Please everyone enjoy our candy, most of which does not burn easily."

The company's candy will now be marketed with a release form included.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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