Written by victor nicholas

Monday, 29 September 2008

image for China Brassed into Space
China Prans to be on Moons by 2015

Harbin Space Centre - A beaming President Hu Jintao congratulated those involved with China's successful third manned spaceflight and first space walk on national television Thursday. Jintau called the voyage "Nother step in Chinese people long march to release aerospace potential in dominant proletariat."

Jinatau is particularly proud of the differences in the Chinese space program in comparison to that of the American and Soviet space programs.

While Americans call their space travelers astronauts and Soviets cosmonauts the Chinese refer to their spacemen as "dissidents".

Jintao explains "Mericans look hard for spaceman and spend lots moneys on training. China have lots of dissidents. We tell them they going on free trips to USA and they line up to Lympic Village and back, you betchas!"

"China no need spend moneys on training like US. Space flights for dissidents one-way onry right now."

"Rocket also big saving, we re-use Lympic torch for main booster."

NASA scientists have examined footage of the Chinese spacewalk and say it is strangely similar to the Olympic opening ceremony Olympic torch lighting ceremony and point out that that there is not sufficient oxygen in space to support a lighted torch held by a long-striding Chinese spaceman. Green screen technology may be at play.

Jintau shrugs off accusations that the spacewalk is a hoax, "Mericans just sour apples."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Space, China

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