Brussels/ Reuters - NATO security and intelligence services reacted quickly today to contain the threat of a new terrorist weapon that could be launched with devastating effect on the Continent and elsewhere.
Spokesman said that after the recent flight from Calais to the UK by The Flying Frog, Yves Rossy, using carbon fiber wings made in his garage, and a Jet Propelled Suppository design from the US, "we could have terrorists packed with explosives flying below our radar....the assholes could show up anywhere and fly into anything they wanted" a senior intelligence operator warned.
The prospect of bomb-laden flying ass holes was not something the free world was looking forward to, according to information leaked from the top secret meeting.
Top ranking air force officials said that while Rossy jumped from a mother ship to gain proper altitude for the 21 mile channel crossing, terrorists could have closer targets in mind. "They would have the capacity of a "very short range bomber,say 1500 feet or so," the officer said, " all they have to do is squat down in the road like they were going to take a dump like any other 3rd world visitor, and touch themselves off. It would be something like a Harrier Jump Jet. Once air borne, they would just straighten out for the short one or two block flight direct to their target!"
Rumors are spreading that at least 200 militant Muslim martyrs are currently training in Iran to enlarge their rectum to accommodate the propulsion device.
Confirmed high level sources said the terrorist "expansion program" is a high priority for President Mahmoud Ahadinejad, who is taking a "hands on" approach in order to expedite the project.
Larry King said he was "disappointed" when he heard Ahadinejad was in charge of a project to enlist "even bigger ass holes" in the threat against the free world."He seemed like a real Mensch," the tottering talk show host said wistfully, as he snapped his suspenders.
