North Pole-- Santa Claus called NATO headquarters today after a surprise Russian invasion of the North Pole. The Russians now claim the entire Arctic as their territory, along with its untold oil riches. Fierce hand-to-hand combat was reported at Santa's workshop. It is unknown how or even if NATO will respond.
Santa begged NATO Headquarters in Brussels for supplies and ammunition. Mrs. Claus was killed early in the attack, along with dozens of elves. Rudolph and most of the other reindeer were killed by cluster bombs soon after the fighting began.
"Please help me!", begged Santa to the world's press. "I know there are a lot of good boys and girls still left in the world, please protect me, I'm begging you. I gave you so many toys when you were children. There will only be Christmas for Russian children if Putin has his way. This is the end of the world!" said the shocked Santa
NATO General Secretary Kris Kringle of Germany was uncertain how to respond.
"We don't really know if Santa exists. This could just be a Russian plot to draw NATO into a wider war. It seems to be too late to help anyway." said the general.
Late reports from Reuters say a hydrogen bomb incinerated Santa's workshop at the North Pole. No more toys from Santa, ever. Christmas is cancelled.
