Bush Orders Airstrike Against Iraqi Parliament

Funny story written by rewinn

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

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America Offered Iraq the Latest Voting Technology

Baghdad - The Iraqi Parliament was blown up today in a retaliatory airstrike called by President George W Bush.

"We must destroy our enemies wherever we find them," intoned Bush, "And the Iraqi Parliament refused my reasonable demand for a Status of Forces Agreement giving me a free hand in Iraq. This proves they were in league with the Iranians, and therefore unlawful combatants."

Pundits agreed Bush's Status of Forces Agreement was reasonable and necessary. It would allow American Armed Forces to go anywhere in Iraq, kill or capture anyone, and never have to ask the government of Iraq for permission. "Surely the sovereign nation of Iraq recognizes," said Military Expert Newt "Draft Ducker" Gingrich, "That sovereignty means letting foreign troops do as they will."

"The real issue," said Blackwater News Consultant Eric Prince, "Was immunizing our hired mercenaries from Iraqi law. Sometimes our mercenaries spray a crowd with gunfire, or stab an Iraqi when they're drunk, but that's just high spirits. You expect that sort of thing when you're pay a guy $1000 a day and exempt him from military discipline. It's really not fair for those so-called "laws" of Iraq to apply to them."

Others felt the airstrike was an excessive reaction. "America should be willing to negotiate on control of Iraqi airspace under the Status of Forces Agreement. Iraq has no significant air force, so it's helpless when the Turks bomb the Kurds anyway. So what's the big deal?"

One remarkable outcome of the destruction of the Iraqi Parliament is that it was unable to vote on a resolution asking America troops to set a date by which they would leave. "Technically, the vote can not take place, because the remnants of the building are on fire," said a spokesman. "But it wouldn't matter anyway. Think about it; what Prime Minister would be foolish enough to sign it, while living in a nation of 24 million heavily armed and disgruntled Iraqis?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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