George Bush's Schedule At Windsor

Funny story written by matwil

Sunday, 15 June 2008

image for George Bush's Schedule At Windsor
'Man, you have weird golf clubs here!'

George W Bush is visiting Britain today, and here is his planned schedule at Windsor Castle:

14:00 Bush's car arrives at the castle

14:01 Gets out of the car and waves to the press, before slipping on some grass and falling over

14:04 Meets the Queen and shakes her hand, and pats her on the back, saying 'How's it goin' Liz? Hope we ain't havin' them dogs for lunch!'

14:15 At lunch does his Ronnie Reagan impersonation, to much laughter, shouting 'Let's bomb Iraq!'

14:45 Has after-lunch drinks

15:45 Still having after-lunch drinks

16:00 Collides with a suit of armour on the way out of the dining room, needs first aid on his forehead

16:10 Shakes hands with a courtier, saying 'Hi King Phillip, got any decent coke in this place?'

16:15 Tells the Queen a few jokes about IRA bombs and Oliver Cromwell, causing her to laugh

16:20 On the crocquet lawn tries to use a mallet as a fairway wood, and sends the ball through a Castle window

16:30 Makes speech to the press: 'My fellow Britvicans, it is an honor to visit this big bouncy castle, and to remeet the Queen of Hearts again. Britain and Armagnacia have a historic friendship, a friendship that's sailing to Belfast when the tide turns, and we'll find those mass destruction weapons there. Your Majesty, I jest not, verily, thy former subjects are now republicans, we'd like you back as much as we'd like Saddam Hussein back, and that is our pledge and promising promise.'

16:37 Interpreters manage to translate the speech for the Queen

16:45 Sees anti-war demonstrators at the gates and asks if there's a war going on somewhere, is not amused when Prince Phillip says 'Yes, in Berkshire, ya ninny!'

17:00 Borrows a Nintendo Playboy from a child, and sits playing games on it

17:30 Has more tea with the Queen, saying 'And you really drink this crap for fun? Man, it stinks!'

18:00 Goes to the toilet and loses his way, found wandering around the gardens talking to himself

18:10 Is taken to the car by his wife Laura, who is clearly not amused, and neither is the Queen

18:11 Falls asleep in the car

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more