Republican candidate John McCain upped the ante in the presidential election today, announcing his plan for a nationwide effort to eliminate runny and stuffy noses. The War on Sniffles would be the first big initiative in a McCain administration.
Speaking to an audience of soccer moms in Cleveland, McCain explained his approach to Sniffles: "This country has a tradition of great government efforts to deal with major problems. Like the War on Poverty, the War on Drugs, and the Global War on Terror, we can take on runny noses!"
Few details were provided about the plan at the press conference. A McCain aide estimated that the program would cost $100 Billion over the next five years, with significant portions to go to education, school nurses, and diplomatic efforts.
McCain immediately came under attack from the right. Rick Schnozze of the Cato Institute said this would be another big government failure: "The War on Poverty was a bunch of fluff that accomplished nothing. The drug war has been a massive failure. Bush's so-called Global War on Terror involves only a few countries, isn't really global, and seems to be yet another loss."
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama did not have an immediate response. While reporters attempted to get Obama to comment on the Sniffles War, Obama would only say that his staff was reviewing the idea. For some reason everyone in the Obama campaign seemed to think something was funny.
