WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - At the end of his visit to America, Pope Benedict XVI said that President George Bush, Dick Cheney and John McCain "Will All Burn in Hell" for starting the war in Iraq.
The Pope was frustrated that he was unable to exorcise the demons from the Republican Party which was the main reason for visiting "that godless, heathen and materialistic country," he said.
"Imagine starting a war just to grab Iraq's oil and to enrich your cronies and the monstrous US weapons industry," said the Pope. "That war has caused the slaughter of over a million Iraqis. God, those Yankee running dog capitalists will burn forever for that."
The Pope delved into US politics by endorsing Barack Obama for US president at the open-air Mass at the new Washington Nationals stadium, a gold curtain and crucifix providing the backdrop.
He said that "all those other characters aren't much better than Bush. Obama would straighten out the USA."
Benedict was also pleased that he had successfully exorcised Britney Spears on the Dr. Phil Show during his US visit, in a program which received extremely high viewership.
Yet an embittered Pope also revealed that the Vatican Bank had lost over $100 billion by investing in fraudulent subprime securities on the advice of Goldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan.
He cursed Wall Street calling them "a pack of greedy crooks in the service of Lucifer" and demanded his money back as he ascended his jet to return to Italy.
--Copyright Felix MinderBinder Live Wire