Penguins face extinction - humans could be next

Written by IN SEINE

Friday, 14 December 2007

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Penguins facing a bleak future

According to the World Wildlife Fund experts, Penguins are one the verge of extinction if not for the intervention of human kind. The Emperor, Gentoo, Chinstrap and Adelie Penguins, who feed on Krill, the smaller relative of the Plankton family face difficult times ahead because of so-called'global warming'.

In an exclusive interview, In Seine News Ecological Department was told by a member of the species known only as 'Krill Bill': "The 'nuns' of the bird world face extinction because those 'clever' human beings reckon that this farce of 'global warming' has killed us off a bit. The reality is far different because we actually thrive in warmer water. Instead of being abundant bird food, we are in act migrating north, perhaps as far as UK because we've heard that they'll accept anything."

"Whilst Whales (obese bastards!) are our biggest predators, they are not as numerous as penguins and pose no threat to us as we expect to lose a small percentage (the old and frail) to them each year. We call it 'Krill cull' time and has always been a succesful way to keep our numbers down!"

"On the other tentacle, (yes we krills have them too!), penguins (i.e. those who consider themselves to be birds, but are just overweight waiters who can't even fly!) are some of our biggest consumers and will soon starve and die off within a year or so. Our plan is to breed, breed, and breed. We have been holding sex orgies 24/7 for the past 3 years. We have numerous nurseries deep in the Antarctic waters which are crammed with the 'little lads'and we hope all will be strong enough in 5 years to be ready for the long journey north which is expected to take 2 years according to tidal currents."

"This will ensure the survival of our species as we shall have no predators left. Then as those 'clever' human beings keep spouting off evolution is just a short trip and we can expect to form a society, first of all by evolving into 'Politicians' by 2810 and then into 'real' people by 3005."

The 'King of Krill' excitedly added "There will come a day when Krill Will Rule The World!"

DON'T SAY WE NEVER WARNED YOU.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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