Kenyan First Lady beats journalist senseless with baseball bat

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Friday, 14 December 2007

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Western photographers in Kenya line up for a kicking from Mrs Kibaki

Kenyan First Lady, Lucy Kibaki, lost her temper at an Independence Rally when a journalist inadvertently introduced her by the name of the President's suspected second wife. She grabbed a baseball bat from a nearby thug and started hitting the journalist repeatedly over the head with it until he fell to the ground in a pool of blood and vomit.

The entire incident was filmed on tape, but Mrs Kibaki later sent in some Kenyan stormtroopers to burn all copies of the tape.

President Kibaki is widely believed to have more than one wife, since most men in Kenya do. Apparently, having lots of wives in Africa is a sign of virility, which is important in Kenyan society. However, he has repeatedly denied this, even though he disappears twice a week for several hours and returns home with a smile on his face and smelling of Chanel No. 5.

Mrs Kibaki has a reputation for attacking the press. A few years ago, she stormed into a newsroom to protest her treatment by the media and started kicking an innocent cameraman. When he sued her for assault, the judge threw out the case and ordered him to be whipped.

Some Western observers say that these worrying incidents are typical of the corruption in Kenyan society, where people with money and power are exempt from the law. However, most politically correct members of the media are afraid to admit this, which is why the story has not received widespread attention in Britain.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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