The mood across the land is celebratory as England prepares to make the ultimate sacrifice in the fight against global warming.
A source close to the prime minister stated "The prime minster Feels we are losing the battle against flatulence,we drive cars & electronic devices are being left on standby every night, it's only right that we sacrifice our lives to eradicate this problem".
The prime minister himself has been known to be guilty of all these misdemeanours - particularly flatulence.
Meanwhile preparations are underway for the "Last British supper" As the countrywide slaughter of every single animal has been ordered by the government gallantly supported by the opposition parties. Culinary delights for the Last Supper will include old favourites such as beef & chicken. New culinary delights like dog & pigeon will be freely available.
Environmental company Malteser Solutions LTD. Released a statement: By killing every living thing in this country & last of all ourselves we'll reduce the emittance of greenhouse gases by a staggeringly significant amount especially since we breathe out co2 in significant proportions.
Experiments conducted by scientific research company Freaky Friday has concluded "The demise of the Great British nation will cut world carbon emissions by 2%.
