Company reduces carbon footprint using stilts

Funny story written by Naboo the Enigma

Monday, 4 June 2007

image for Company reduces carbon footprint using stilts
Carbon footprints 'no bigger than an ant'

As concern for the environment grows, and the impacts of climate change are becoming increasingly alarming, businesses everywhere are looking for new ways to offset their 'carbon footprint' and some are taking drastic measures to reduce their environmental impact.

One company, Paper4U, Britain's largest door-to-door paper supplier, is leading the pack when it comes to finding radical measures to address their carbon footprint by placing their entire premises on 6 foot tall bamboo stilts.

Rick Waller, managing director of Paper4U, explains his decision; "We were all sitting in a meeting trying to find innovative ways to reduce our carbon footprint when one of the team suggested the stilts. It seemed such a simple and effective solution but we were obviously worried about the logistic implications. As it happened it only cost us around £82 million to raise all our buildings to a height of 6 feet, but now our total footprint has been reduced to about 15 square feet".

Adrian Snell of the Environment Agency responded to this unusual action by saying that it displayed "a fundamental misunderstanding of the basic principles of climate change" but added that it was a "bloody good idea" and "I wish I'd thought of it first". The Environment Agency is now considering moving all their offices 20 feet up into the woodland canopy, evicting several native species of tree-dwelling bypass protesters in the process, "a price worth paying" responded Snell.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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