LA church sale to fund sex claims, Vatican next?

Funny story written by matthatt

Wednesday, 16 May 2007


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It was all OK until some asshole split on me.

The Roman Catholic archbishop of Los Angeles has said his archdiocese will sell its main orifice to raise money to settle lawsuits for sexual abuse.

Cardinal, Roger, M, Senseless, also said some 50 other buildings could be sold to settle hundreds of lawsuits brought by people who had been abused by priests in the last month alone.

'Quick Finish'

Though the position of the archdiocese has usually been behind the congregation, not unlike the priests themselves, the insurance companies must fund a major share of future settlements and the church must be prepared to fund its share.

The Roman Catholic Church has been rocked by a series of sex abuse scandals in recent years, particularly in North America and also in Europe. The scope of which is so huge that every church owned by the Roman Catholic Cult may have to sell up just to foot the legal costs.

All eyes are now on The Holy City in Rome following some religious memorabilia appearing on E-Bay last week; the items included a funny hat, an old collection of red hot pokers, a soft cushion and couple of Caravaggios.

In the US, a Boston-based scandal in 2002 led to the prosecutions of a number of priests, large payouts to dozens of victims and allegations of a cover-up by senior clergy after Michael Jackson was caught trying to become a priest.

A spokesperson for the one time king of pop said "there is no ulterior motive in Mr Jackson wanting to become a priest, he has been through a troubled time and found God"

God was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press.

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