Iraq War Ends: Terrorists Surrender

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

image for Iraq War Ends: Terrorists Surrender
Iraq in blue means peace

The Iraq war ended yesterday when the terrorists surrendered en masse. Baghdad was flooded with tens of thousands of insurgents who all handed in their arms at the edge of the green zone.

General David Petraeus spoke to reporters about four hours after the rebels began surrendering. Petraeus said the victory showed that the surge worked, and he said that all Americans should give credit to President George W. Bush for his vision.

White House spokesman Tony Fratto said that Bush was already on his way to Iraq, flying his own fighter plane that he will land on an aircraft carrier to repeat his "Mission Accomplished" stunt. Fratto said he could not confirm rumors that Osama bin Laden would be on the ship to surrender in person to Bush, as had been indicated by sources in Pakistan.

Reaction in the US was mostly positive. Filmmaker Michael Moore issued a public apology, congratulated President Bush on his success, and endorsed Rudy Giuliani for the 2008 presidential election. Giuliani and John McCain had a joint press conference where they announced that they would team up for the Republican primary, with a coin flip to decide which of the two would be the presidential candidate, with the loser getting the VP nod. They also said Ron Paul was an idiot.

In other news, Iran turned over all of its nuclear material to UN inspectors, and Palestinian leaders met with Israeli leaders for a retreat to discuss peace, using Tai Chi and Yoga to enhance their efforts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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