Baghdad - (Ass Mess): In a brainwave solution to defuse the civil war in Iraq, London Buses is to spearhead a brainwave initiative by Mayor Ken Livingstone to promote sightseeing trips around the Iraqi capital in disused iconic red London Routemasters.
The plan is to let the Iraqi people 'see for themselves' the consequences of their actions by hopping on a Number 9 at, say, Saddam Hussain Palace for a quick trip to downtown Cheney Plaza via disused sewage processing plants dfestroyed by relentless cluster bombing campaigns aimed at rooting our insurgents.
"These street tours can transform the image of a city," said the Baghdad Mayor today.
"In exchange for this innovative scheme I propose to let Mayor Livingstone have copious amounts of Iraqi Light Marker Crude to fuel London pensioners' needs in a quid-pro-quo arrangement that will see Baghdad prosper and flourish."
The tourismk industry's bible the Lonely Planet Guide has described Iraq as "in need of a bit of a makeover.
"It's a big, loud, chaotic, vibrant and ugly beating heart of a capital city just gagging for a spot of eco-friendly sightseeing arrangements."
And Iraq's tourism chiefs believe that despite Baghdad's war torn image and characterless modern buildings "lies a capital rich with religious, cultural and architectural heritage" just waiting to be bombed or visited by tourists or both.
This week the first dozen red buses from the new fleet of will provide sightseeing tours covering attractions such as the sprawling bombed central market bazaar, former Saddam Hussain palaces, trashed museums and assorted arson-attack religious shrines that have yet to be seen by members of the public.
"The start of the pilgrimage season is always fraught with worry," said a Baghdad Town Hall officiaql.
"We hope this latest move will get people to let their hair down a little and take time off for a spot of tourism."