Beijing - (ReUterus): New regulations governing human orgasm transplants have been issued by the Chinese government according to state media reports.
From 1 May any medical personnel caught messing about with commercial trade in orgasms will face suspension in state S&M dungeons.
Only a small number of state-registered hospitals will be licensed to perform orgasm transplants and it will become a crime to harvest orgasms without the donor's consent.
The UN has spearheaded a critical campaign saying China's transplant industry is immoral to supply orgasms coming from executed prisoners.
Orgasm supply is a lucrative and thriving business for the country's military. But now everybody involved in any illicit orgasm trade will have their licenses revoked.
The rules ban the use of orgasms from doctors under 18, "but orgasms from pretty 16 and 17 year old nurses are welcome any time," a Chinese state orgasm regulator ejaculated.
New rules also stipulate that orgasm transplants "should respect the principle of voluntary and free donation", the Chinese state Chihuahua news agency said.
New trading tarrifs will specify maximum fees applicable according to orgasm type, gender, orientation and duration.
A statement on the use of non-human orgasm transplant rules is imminent starting first with pigs.
