Most Giant Squid remains have been found in the stomachs of Sperm Whales. This has led some of the stupider Marine Biologists to theorize that the belly of the Sperm Whale is in fact the natural habitat of the Giant Squid. Finally, today, we have proof that this isn't so.
This morning a Giant Squid swam up to a luxury cruise ship and yelled out "I'm over here".
Andrew Taylor, a passenger on the ship, said "It was really weird. Everyone on deck was singing Happy Birthday to me and then this Giant Squid joins in."
The Giant Squid, named Ted, informed the world that, "We've been hiding for ages just waiting for you guys to find us. Today I decided I'd had enough."
Ted explained that he thought humanity "...were terrible explorers..." and that he thought it was "...ridiculous that you've been to the moon and never bothered checking out your own planet."
"Basically, I just thought I'd come and say hi before it was too late" said the squid, "See, with the oceans rising, we're only going to get deeper."
According to Ted, now that he and his kind have been 'found', it's Mankind's turn to hide... I'll be under the bed.
- Tom Taylor