Xi Jinping Has A Bath With All His Toys

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 8 April 2023

image for Xi Jinping Has A Bath With All His Toys
Gotta Stay Clean When You're Starting World War 3

Xi Jinping gets angry so easily … like a little lost boy with his ice cream cone fallen to the sidewalk.

Kevin McCarthy had a meeting with the President of Taiwan, and Xi got pissed. He went on a drunken rampage, then dug his furry fists into a pot of honey, but that still wasn’t enough to make his anger wane.

As he wept, he watched 20 people from Hong Kong (decadent evil Antifa pro-democracy protesters) get shot by firing line … but that still didn’t make him happy.

He injected pure cocaine into his eyeballs and saw God … but that still didn’t make him happy.

So he popped into the bathtub and had his servant/slave bring him all his favourite bathtub toys – battleships and destroyers and aircraft carriers, and Xi pretended it was the Median Line between China and Taiwan, and then he had a bathtub invasion and he pretended he was “playing” World War Three.

This finally made him happy. So he worked toward making the real thing happen, and had a live fire exercise right smack dab on that Median Line ‘cuz … ‘cuz that’ll show ‘em!

A little fat boy doesn’t like when all his neighbors are having fun and he’s not invited to the party. So he has his own. And when fat men and little boys play, something’s gonna blow!

[Editorial Footnote: Fat Man and Little Boy were the names Americans gave the two nuclear bombs they dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.)

It’s the Taiwan Median Line World War 3 – just in time for summer!

(And, silly me, I thought the end of the world would come from Israel … so many people want to blow us all up in their bathtubs.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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