The president of fascist commie China, Xi, has finally been found!
He was on The Masked Singer! Dressed as a panda, of course.
He sang, “I Did It All For The Nookie” (which would become ironic shortly after the show) and got a standing ovation … until he took off the panda head and no one knew who he was.
Someone thought he was a homeless person who invaded the show and demanded total control over it … so they threw him into the back of a truck and drove him to the zoo, in his costume.
Zoo keepers are now waiting for the Chinese ambassador to show up and bail out the dictator, who has already been raped twice by the bull panda, despite Xi promising the panda a happy life in China and all the bamboo it could eat if it would just stop raping his ass.
The bull panda could not be reached for comment.
And Xi look so happy snuggled up in his panda lover’s arms, that when the ambassador finally shows up, zookeepers might just want to keep the Chinese dictator and put him on show every day at 2pm and again at 5pm.
Take the kids and watch the Chinese dictator make sweet, sweet love while he weeps for home.
He doesn’t even like bamboo!
