According to the World Hemisphere And Astrological Association, a.k.a. WHAAA, North Korea has launched several ballistic missiles into the waters off the east coast of the Korean Peninsula, officials said.
"What the faawww?!" North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un, was heard to exclaim. "What you mean 'into the waters'?! I was aiming for Pittsburgh! That not even half way! Would have settled for missile strike on Fresno, at least!"
According to the Japanese Coast Guard, North Korea launched three suspected ballistic missiles, however, South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff reported just two short-range ballistic missiles.
"Go to Hellllllllll!" Kim Jong Un cried, as he peed himself. "One country say three missiles, one country say two?! I send ten very nice ballistical missiles at them, and they can't count that high?! Where the other seven missiles go?! On vacation?!"
When questioned if he was trying top start a war, Kim Jong Un threw his Betamax copy of 'Jaws III' at reporters, and shouted in a squeaky voice, "South Korea get in way of my fifty missiles! I try to shoot Godzilla and save Japan! My missile shooters suck! Me goof friend of Japan and Japanian peoples!"
After calming down, Kim Jong Un rearranged his toy tanks and soldiers on his enormous desk and said, "Well, back to drawing board. Will send more missiles at South Kor--..... I mean, at Rodan and Evil Gamera and Giant American Jaws shark to become World Hero! Just tell Japan to keep better count next time, okay?! Ballisticky missiles cost more each than yearly income of fifty North Korean families! Not afford to lose in soggy South Korean waters! What the faaawww..."
