MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - The evil, heartless, leader of Russia is now realizing that his chickens have come home to roost.
Putin, who has lost 17 pounds and is starting to look like a swizzle stick with ears, has gone into hiding. A close aide said that he has not eaten in days and all he drinks all day is a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka.
Valdskivich, as VP Harris calls the he-bitch, looks like he has been beaten with a bag of bowling balls.
He is balding and his eyebrows have fallen off, plus he has not had an erection since he invaded the wonderful, peace-loving people of Ukraine.
SIDENOTE: Putin reportedly told a well-known Moscow whore that he wishes he had never even heard of Ukraine.
