Second Scorpion Found In Man's Bedroom

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 25 August 2020

image for Second Scorpion Found In Man's Bedroom
We don't have to put up with this kind of thing in Hull, you know!

In what is starting to seem like a regular occurence, a man has told of how he was almost attacked by a deadly black scorpion in his bedroom, as he sat reading a book.

The man's bedroom, not the scorpion's.

Quietly minding his own business reading 'The History of Hull', the man, Moys Kenwood, detected, out of the corner of his eye, a slight movement on the floor next to where he was sitting.

Immediately alert, he saw that it was another one of those pesky scorpions that had threatened his life two years ago. That time, Kenwood's wife had ended the creature's existence with a brick.

This time, however, she was in the bathroom having a shower.

Quickly, he looked around for something with which to obliterate it.

As is usual when you need a weapon, nothing offers itself as such. In his mind, he made a decision: he would stand on it!

Wearing only his flip-flops, he allowed the scorpion to move away from the side of the bed, then leapt vertically into the air to gain maximum downforce on the monster's back. Even so, he squirmed a bit when he made contact, fearing a fatal flick from the scorpion's tail.

There was a crunching sound. The creature was now an ex-scorpion.

Later, Kenwood said:

"If they're going to start making a habit of it, I'd better look around and keep some heavy stuff handy!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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