A man who has finally arrived at the stage in life where he doesn't seem to have the motivation or will power to uphold all of his until-now high standards any more, has revealed that he no longer stands up to have a wee, preferring to sit down, like a woman.
Moys Kenwood, 57, said that he just can't be bothered anymore to stand through the long, laborious process of emptying his bladder, and that he feels much more comfortable taking the weight off his pins, and relaxing whilst having a dribble.
"I know folks will laugh, but I find it helps me think when I sit down for a piss. I'm able to drift away, and reflect in silent contemplation on a multitude of concepts, that, standing up, would have been impissible."
But friends said he was 'gay'.
"Only a gaylord sits down for a piss. And women, of course, although it's true that I have seen several women standing up before, on a night-out I was on. That was funny!"
Another, something of a psychologist, said:
"It seems as if he is going through some kind of mid-life crisis, fighting the aging process, and trying to revert back to an earlier age. Perhaps his mental state is cracking, and he sees himself as a baby again, and sitting on a potty."
His sister said:
"Clearly, he has some issues."