Northern City To Undergo Namechange

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 May 2020

image for Northern City To Undergo Namechange
Taking a stroll along the beach at Oaf-on-Sea

In a rare dramatic event in East Yorkshire, council officials have, this morning, announced that the city of Kingston upon Hull is to undergo a namechange that will "more appropriately reflect the city's long history and cultural heritage, as well as its place in today's modern society".

Hull will henceforth be known as Oaf-on-Sea.

The name is sure to be nothing less than controversial, for the simple reason that Oaf-on-Sea is not near the sea, a full 17 miles having to be traversed before the smell of salt water enters one's nostrils.

That having been said, the city boasts more than its fair share of oafery.

Hull native, Myke Woodson, said:

"Gone are the days when this city was named as number 1 in that 'The Crappest Towns In Britain' book, but a poor reputation, like the smell of fish, tends to stick around. I think a namechange will do the place a power of good. I certainly hope so - I love the place."

City council executives are also hoping the name will boost tourism numbers. Hull was the UK City of Culture in 2017, and attracted more than a million extra visitors in that twelvemonth, and there are hopes that the quaint new moniker will fool potential tourists into thinking there may be a picturesque beach to sunbathe on, rather than the filthy mudflats of reality.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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