German annual 'fly-swatting' competition not affected by Corona!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 14 August 2020

image for German annual 'fly-swatting' competition not affected by Corona!
These little irritating bastards have no chance against German world champion Fly-Swatters!

(UNEDITED) It seems there are certain things not even a corona pandemic can 'put an end to' because Germans, who generally have their house in order, have allowed one of their favorite competitions to take place!

The annual "Fliegen Klatsche' (Fly Swatting) tournament held in Dresden, East Germany, was allowed to go ahead. It was held behind a cowshed on the outskirts of the once bombed city; nowadays only flies get the same treatment!

Participants were given two hours to swat as many flies as possible in the qualifying rounds leaving two finalists to kill the rest of the irritating bastards. On-looking cows looked quite happy as the swatters decimated the damn things, which cause them so much aggro during the summer months; not only cows!

The final took place on a boiling hot day with an abundance of flies being attracted to the finalists tables, which were topped with rotting fruit and stale 'Schwarzwaelder Torten'.

The two finalists, Hans 'Hannibal' Mueller, as deadly as his namesake who, prefers eating humans, and, Fritz 'Der Serial-Fliegen-Killer' Fritzel, had an hour to swat as many flies as possible!

However, during the final, a horde of vegan, masked, Animal Rights Nutters, stormed the arena determined to stop the genocide of a living species screaming "Alle Fliegen Leben Sind Wichtig!" (Google it if you don't speak German!)

Sadly, the final was postponed until next year where it will be held in a secret location in a organic pigsty on an abandoned 'Fliegerhorst', near Buechel, where there are plenty of piggies and flies to swat; but no Luftwaffe.

At the time of interruption by the Animal Rights Nutters, Hans 'Hannibal ' Mueller, was winning the contest, and to show his anger in not receiving the 2020 trophy, he vowed to 'swat' the gormless brains of the leader of the "Alle Fliegen Leben Sind Wichtig" movement, and pickle it in his dark cellar!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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