Cows Surge Past Man's House

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 2 August 2020

image for Cows Surge Past Man's House
Cows swarming around chez Kenwood

In an incident that locals have described variously as "shocking", "frightening", "uninteresting", and "not worth mentioning", a swarm of cows surged past a man's house this afternoon, causing perturbation.

The excitement took place on the road outside the Battambang residence of Moys Kenwood, with as many as 500 cows reported as taking part, although this figure was later revised to "around 20".

Residents were alerted by the 'clopping' of hooves on the road surface, and the cows trademark 'mooing' sound.

The white cows obstructed traffic and stared blankly at bystanders.

But a cow expert, Daisy Buttercup, was skeptical. She said:

"For a start, cows congregate in herds not swarms. And they won't have been white! Not the sort of 'white' you'd want a wedding dress to be. Plus, I find it hard to believe they 'surged'; cows tend to amble."

Kenwood was adamant, however:

"I tell you they surged! There was intent in their countenances! It was malevolence, I say!."

Just last week, the same man was disturbed by a cow at his back door, which resulted in an overfilled kettle during the making of a cup of tea.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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