The Chinese government have made an official statement to declare that nothing is happening in Hong Kong. The short written statement simply said "Hong Kong velly calm. The peopre are so happy to be a part of China."
A spokesman agreed to speak to a selected group of journalists in Beijing, although he did not take any questions. He began by saying, "Hong Kong? Phooey!". Despite widespread TV coverage of riots, it was expected that he would not comment on them.
"Nothing long," said the spokesman. "No plobrem. Hong Kong not countly now, it part of China."
"Nothing to see here. There no plotestors. We no shoot plotestors, because there are none."
"No democlacy. What is democlacy? There none here, democlacy plotestors don't need it."
"Hong Kong peopre happy to be in China! Here, have a raptop. Flee raptop for evelyone!" He began distributing raptops to the crowd, who were happy to receive them. This journalist enjoyed the gift so much that he decided to report on Chinese news more positively in future.
