Virginia Beach - (Rotters): Crusading evangelical preacher and age-defying protein pancake salesman Reverend Pat Robertson has warned Russian President Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin that the foul-smelling orange snow falling on the Omsk region of Siberia is God's punishment for poisoning a relatively harmless ex-KGB spook in London last year with a lethal Plutonium-enriched snort of cocaine.
The orange and yellow colored flakes have covered an area of approximately 570 sq miles and are giving off toxic-smelling fumes similar to the fetid aroma of rotten corpses.
Robertson has insisted that the stench will only get worse until charismatic creationist evangelical Christianity returns to the Russian Motherland and ousts the heretical Russian Orthodontic Church which controls the superstition turf in the republic.
And he may well be right, because Russian scientists are at a total loss to explain the orange precipitation which is said to be killing off cattle and sheep, poisoning water supplies, scorching fields and destroying the soil sub-structure of the tundra plains.
In a tersely-worded letter to the Russian Ambassador in DC Robertson has volunteered to exorcise the Kremlin and put a stop to the stinking snowfall in exchange for the right to set up a studio franchise of his TheoCon cable TV channel which recruits other age-defying protein pancake-deprived godless souls and puts them back on to the path of salvation.
Meanwhile, reports from the World Meteorlogical Office have confirmed that westerlies blew the orange precipitation in from the Chernobyl region after a local typhoon there ripped open the sarcophagus sealing the disastrous nuclear reactor which went into meltdown in the 1980s after running out of fuel.