Trump nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, for saving the lives of ten million Afghans

Funny story written by Absolute Bull

Friday, 2 August 2019

image for Trump nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, for saving the lives of ten million Afghans
Nobel Peace Prize for Trump from the inventor of dynamite. Image courtesy Shuttlestock.

Ten million could be the population count of most countries, and, as predicted, ten million could be wiped out in a week, or ten days at the most, including human collateral damage. This is a record wipe-out never before seen in the annals of US military history. In fact, ten million is the approximate count of casualties inflicted on the “other side” over nearly sixty years of US-led conflicts.

But ten million in ten days, or a million a day, would need the might of the US nuclear arsenal to end the war in Afghanistan, in a flash or two. It would also spell the end of Afghanistan as a country, and blow the billions of dollars that America has invested in weapon-testing and corruption in Afghanistan over the past twenty years.

Yes, it would need a multiple nuclear strike to achieve the target of a million a day, as conventional US military hardware wouldn’t accomplish the task. Military analysts agree that if the Taliban had an air force to shoot back, it would take fifteen years for total subjugation before choosing the N-option. This has been proven time and again that American air superiority is not because of its sophisticated hi-tech weaponry, but because the opposition doesn’t have an air force, as is the case with the Saudi-UAE coalition bombing of Yemen, who only have a 5-drone air force.

Mercifully, the US President developed amnesia about ending the war in Afghanistan when he was distracted by the Dem Squad, the rats of Baltimore and the election of Bo-Jo as the one and only loyal friend in the world.

Making political capital of the President’s amnesia, John and Mike quickly nominated Mr Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize which was as quickly seconded by scores of world leaders scrambling to get off the White House sanctions list for misbehaviour.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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