Cockfighting Cocks Strike In Protest Over Conditions

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 28 July 2019

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Cockfighting on TV - whatever will they think of next?

There was real drama at the Rachadamnern Stadium in Bangkok last night, when the scheduled programme of cockfighting was interrupted after several of the cocks went on strike over pay and conditions.

Cockfighting is a dangerous, rough-and-tumble, life-or-death sport, especially if you're a cock. For human spectators, it has a polarizing effect: some find it highly exciting, the birds pecking and stabbing at each other's throats, feathers flying, shrieks of panic, and ultimately, the victor strutting around the vanquished, soaking up the adulation of the crowd.

Others find it fucking sick, and for sick fucks.

The Bangkok cocks were not overly-concerned with spectator perception, however, and decided to 'down tools' over the derisory salary they receive. A spokescock said:

"It's ridiculous! We put our lives on the line for chickenfeed."

And the job should, perhaps, include a danger allowance, it was suggested.

"If you're a cop, a soldier, a firefighter and so on, you receive a salary commensurate with the risks involved. For us cocks, however, there's none of that. It's disgusting!"

Conditions, too, are a sore point for the cocks.

"We are shoved into small, stinking, little places where there's no room to maneuver, thrust this way and that - I ask you, who'd be a cock?"

The dangerous nature of the profession has left many people wondering why, indeed, cocks take up cockfighting in the first place. One cock explained:

"It's not ideal, I'll grant you, but with the economy in the state it's in, beggars can't be choosers, and there aren't that many openings for cocks. We have to take whatever we can get. Personally, I'm just happy to have a job."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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