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Funny satire stories about Animal Rights

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Man Really Liked Ostrich-skin Shoes, But Was Conscious Of How 'Wrong' They Were

Funny story: Man Really Liked Ostrich-skin Shoes, But Was Conscious Of How 'Wrong' They Were

A man has told how a pair of shoes he saw for sale in a Bangkok shop window immediately grabbed his attention, but at the very same time, pricked his conscience when he thought about the material from which they had been made. Moys Kenwood, 50, wa...

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Fight for Animal Rights: Ogle a Poster Girl

An animal rights organization (ARO) which shall remain nameless (it's best not to encourage them!) frequently makes outrageous claims, features celebrity spokespersons, makes false comparisons, and showcases relatively well-known celebrities. (The celebrities are the main reason I enjoy checking out this organization's posters: most of them are not only young, beautiful, and female, but they're al...

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Religious Leaders Threaten to Impeach God if He Doesn't Do a Better Job of Ruling the Planet

Funny story: Religious Leaders Threaten to Impeach God if He Doesn't Do a Better Job of Ruling the Planet

His purportedly eternal tenure notwithstanding, God may be at risk of losing His job as ruler of the planet, say religious leaders, who have threatened to impeach Him if they don't see a marked improvement in His performance. Environmentally progr...

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Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

Funny story: Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

According to a recent report from the National Institute of Health, in this age of mass shootings, climate chaos and downward-spiraling human health, an increasing number of Americans have opted to undergo a cutting-edge elective procedure known as c...

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Animal Rights Activist Cuts Off Own Arm and Cooks It

Funny story: Animal Rights Activist Cuts Off Own Arm and Cooks It

An animal rights activist is recovering in the psychiatric wing of the local hospital after cutting off her own arm and eating it. The patient, who asked to remain anonymous, said she just wanted to know what suffering animals go through. The...

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Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Funny story: Milked cows run stampede at a Lancashire ATM!

Police were called out to a filling up station on the M61 near Chorley, Lancashire, yesterday as a herd of dissatisfied cows attempted to raid an ATM! The cows broke out of their paddock claiming the farmer paid them less than the minimum wage for...

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NYC creating jobs for its carriage-less horses

Funny story: NYC creating jobs for its carriage-less horses

New York - Animal activists came one step closer to ridding Central Park of the carriage horse trade, proposing a variety of new employment opportunities in other fields for the equines. "It's all about jobs and the dignity of work for these noble...

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800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof

Funny story: 800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof

The gator (nicknamed Godzilla) nabbed outside a Houston-area mall has a lot to say about humans. Here are some direct quotes from his email to The Spoof: -- "They muzzled me, which is why I'm using email for all my communications at this point. Phooey." -- "They blasted my weight all over the Internet. What nerve! I plan to sue for invasion of privacy." -- "I was just minding my own busin...

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Should We Eat Animals That Piss Us Off? Dolphin 'Smack Chatter' Reopens The Debate

Funny story: Should We Eat Animals That Piss Us Off? Dolphin 'Smack Chatter' Reopens The Debate

We have come to think of dolphins as intelligent mammals; the sages of the sea, who have even been known to save a human or two caught in troubled waters. That status is now under review following groundbreaking research about to be published by The...

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Emotional-Support Animals up 279%

Funny story: Emotional-Support Animals up 279%

The percentage of applications for emotional-support animals among pets have gone up 279% from 2011, according to the latest pretty and glittery graph on the internet. "We have seen an increase in emotional-support animals among pet travelers," r...

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Caitlyn Jenner's cat to undergo surgery

Funny story: Caitlyn Jenner's cat to undergo surgery

The Jenner/Kardashian family are no strangers to controversy. The latest chapter in the saga however may just see them land in hot water with animal rights groups such as PETA and the SPCA after Caitlyn has agreed to fund her beloved moggie with enou...

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Bang To Animal Rights

Funny story: Bang To Animal Rights

In an effort to impress the animal rights campaigner who has moved in at the end of our street BATTL news has decided to pursue an animal rights story that has shocked us. The daily newspaper "The Sun" (it should be called "The Paper That Thinks It's Alright To Kill Small Insects") has instigated a new hateful competition in which it hires celebrities to attempt killing a fly using a variety of ob...

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'Ban the birds' cry Central Park advocates

Funny story: 'Ban the birds' cry Central Park advocates

New York -- Now that the carriage horses are on the run, activists are taking aim on another group of animals that need to be rescued from Central Park. A study by the nonexistent grassroots group Animal Advocates has found that the privacy right...

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Dog-Cat Species Change Now a Reality

Funny story: Dog-Cat Species Change Now a Reality

San Francisco (STT News) 'Rover', a 2-year-old mixed breed dog in the small village of Twangings, Califonia, will soon be the first canine to undergo species surgery to become a cat. The owner recently won a lawsuit that allows animals to be what the...

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Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Funny story: Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Following the botched execution of death row inmate Clayton Lockett, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin announced that she will support legislation extending the Humane Slaughter Act, which has previously applied only to farm animals, to human prisoners.

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Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Funny story: Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

In a groundbreaking and highly controversial decision, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled to expand the applicability of the Humane Slaughter Act, designed to decrease the suffering of livestock during slaughter, to also encompass the human slaughter o...

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Animal Rights Group Wants The Amish To Stop Using The Horse and Buggy As A Means of Transportation

Funny story: Animal Rights Group Wants The Amish To Stop Using The Horse and Buggy As A Means of Transportation

NORFOLK, Virginia - The animal rights group known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has just announced its latest statement. Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter has sent a message to the Amish community stating...

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Still Hypnotized Woman Falls Off Chicken Truck

Funny story: Still Hypnotized Woman Falls Off Chicken Truck

Abigail Smithers of Washington County, Arkansas apparently will recover from several broken ribs, broken right leg, three toes on the right foot and a fresh-laid dog turd tangled up in her hair after falling off a chicken truck headed for a Purdue Fa...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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