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Funny story: US Expands Powers To Execute Illegal Migrants Without Trial

US Expands Powers To Execute Illegal Migrants Without Trial

In a move which even Franz Kafka would have had trouble making sense of, US legislators have today passed a law to ease the lengthy deportation process involving illegal migrants, dispensed with immigration hearings, and given the green light to summ...

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Funny story: African hangman sacked after 'dropping' asleep on the job!

African hangman sacked after 'dropping' asleep on the job!

Dangling on African gallows can sometimes be a 'lifesaver' because hangmen in many African countries are demanding their midday nap and higher pay! One African country has now re-introduced the guillotine to stop dangling, dastardly poachers, crim...

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Funny story: Arkansas, in a Bid Get into the Guinness Book of World Records, to Execute 8 Men over 10 Days

Arkansas, in a Bid Get into the Guinness Book of World Records, to Execute 8 Men over 10 Days

Little Rock, AR--Besides being known for its high incidence of early death, infant mortality, cardiovascular disease, and obesity, Arkansas may soon break a new record, and possibly get into the 2018 Guinness Book of World Records in the attempt.

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Funny story: Six-Year-Old Drug Mule To Be Executed Despite Plea To Thai King

Six-Year-Old Drug Mule To Be Executed Despite Plea To Thai King

A seven-year-old drug mule is due to be executed later this evening three months after an Irish drug smuggling cartel was caught smuggling cocaine out of Thailand. The Galway based gang was busted earlier this year in Bangkok after custom's offici...

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Funny story: Ricketts Premeditates State Executions

Ricketts Premeditates State Executions

Lincoln, Nebraska - Despite the fact that Governor Pete Ricketts' veto to repeal the death penalty was overridden by Nebraskan State Senators, Ricketts has promised to continue with executions. In his first attempt, he made a deal with an undergr...

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Funny story: Rick Perry says Texas Will Use The Guillotine in Future Public Executions

Rick Perry says Texas Will Use The Guillotine in Future Public Executions

Mo Goldstein of The Dallas Star asked Perry why he was switching from lethal injection to The Guillotine and he replied: "Well Mo I want to avoid all this controversy about whether legal Injection is too cruel for these baby rapers and other violen...

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Funny story: Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Following the botched execution of death row inmate Clayton Lockett, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin announced that she will support legislation extending the Humane Slaughter Act, which has previously applied only to farm animals, to human prisoners.

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Funny story: CAIR Honchos to Convene Obamacare Death Panels

CAIR Honchos to Convene Obamacare Death Panels

Omar Ahmad (CAIR President), Nihad Awad (CAIR Secretary & Treasurer), and Rafeeq Jaber (CAIR Vice President) and Ibrahim Hooper (Communications Director) were named to head the Obamacare Sunset panel, which is more commonly known as the Death Pan...

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Funny story: Prison officials defend execution of wrong man 30 years ago

Prison officials defend execution of wrong man 30 years ago

LONE STAR, TEX ASS - "We had good reason to execute Carlos DeLuna," Warden Hank Williams said. "He was the spitting image of the killer, he had the same first name, and was near the scene of the crime at the fateful hour. Besides, he deserved to die.

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Funny story: Beeb to copy China TV hit; Execution TV!

Beeb to copy China TV hit; Execution TV!

The Beeb are planning on copying China TV's sensational hit called; Execution TV. A roving female reporter travels around the local prisons interviewing prisoners before their death sentences are carried out and in China she had to be quick. Once the...

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Funny story: With 46th execution of 2011, U.S. still lags miserably behind China and Iran

With 46th execution of 2011, U.S. still lags miserably behind China and Iran

WASHINGTON, D.C.--With two executions this week, the U.S. has recorded a total of 46 government-sanctioned murders against citizens in 2011. Incidentally, the U.S. leads the Americas by the same number, as no other such country in the hemisphere a...

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Funny story: Bellfield Conviction In Milly Dowler Murder Case Re-Ignites Death Penalty Debate

Bellfield Conviction In Milly Dowler Murder Case Re-Ignites Death Penalty Debate

The conviction of serial killer Levi Bellfield in the Milly Dowler murder case has raised many fundamental questions about the propriety of the British legal system. Quite correctly, Milly's family members vociferously objected to having their liv...

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Funny story: This is my life! Not A bloody buggering Ricky Gervais comedy screams office boss Claire Fullbright

This is my life! Not A bloody buggering Ricky Gervais comedy screams office boss Claire Fullbright

Human Relations Occasionally magazine reporters today revealed that former office supervisor Claire Fullbright has been sectioned under the 'Not Quite Playing With A Full Deck' act after she cracked up at the offices of Hammer And Tongs in Kiddermins...

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Funny story: Britain to reintroduce death penalty

Britain to reintroduce death penalty

In a back to basics policy change David Cameron, Prime Minister, announced today the return of the death penalty in Great Britain. "To be fair the death penalty never came off the statute books", he said, "we are just extending the penalties where...

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Funny story: Execution Alternatives

Execution Alternatives

CNN is reporting that an Illinois manufacturer's decision to stop making the aesthetic sodium thiopental. This news is critical because this loss will delay some criminal executions that rely on lethal injections. It will force states to think outside the box and adopt other lethal techniques. Naturally, I have my ideas which are not only expeditious but cost-effective: * One hour viewing...

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Funny story: Electric Chairs 'Create Einsteins'

Electric Chairs 'Create Einsteins'

[ALABAMA - PSE) After research from Oxford University scientists published this week found that applying a tiny electrical current to the brain can make people better at learning maths, evidence has now emerged from the USA that the last few moments...

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Funny story: Texan woman receives death sentence after failing to send chain e-mail to 10 friends

Texan woman receives death sentence after failing to send chain e-mail to 10 friends

A Texan woman has been sentenced to death after a court found her guilty as an accessory to murder upon hearing she heartlessly refused to act on a clear e-mail warning. Lara Bush of Deadskunk, West Texas was sent an chain e-mail stating in clear...

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