Anarchist group disbanded upon realization its an organization

Written by Templeton T. Rat

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

A local anarchist group, known for protests and causing general unrest, disbanded this week, when members realized that they were, in fact, an organization

“I didn’t sign up to this group for us to become organized,” said long time member, Barlow McAfee. “I believe in anarchy first, and once we started coming up with actual plans to overthrow the government, I realized we had abandoned what we stood for.”

The breaking point is believed to have been the mid-week pot luck, where everyone is required to bring at least a snack for the group. One member then stood and declared, “anarchy, anarchy!!!!!” in a loud voice, and flipped the food table. He was thoroughly scolded by the leadership, and made to turn in his membership card and custom robe that instant.

“Look, yes, we believe in anarchy, but there are some rules,” said former leader Thomas Fink. “You can’t just go around flipping tables, for goodness sake'. My wife worked really hard on that Mac and cheese.”

At that point, the organization descended into chaos, mostly consisting of members grumbling and taking food home as they filled out the paperwork announcing they no longer belonged to the First Anarchist Chapter.

We tracked down the man who started the disruption who told us: “I’m done with rules and regulations, I’m a true anarchist, which is why I’m starting my own group, the True Anarchist Alliance, which will have more sensible rules that’ll make sure members follow anarchy or they’re out.”

This group has since disbanded due to a lack of funding.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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