Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 2 March 2019

image for Man Almost Choked To Death On Fishbone, But Not Quite
Here, let me help

A man enjoying a lovely plate of fish and chips was rudely interrupted from his evening repast, by one of the aforementioned marine creature's small-but-potentially-fatal bones, which lodged itself in the eater's gullet.

Myke Woodson, who eats fish regularly, coughed violently in a frantic effort to jerk the bone from its lodgings, but to no immediate avail. He threw some water into his throat, and swallowed hard, but could still feel the sharp little bone scratching the tender pink skin of his larynx.

Outside, a dark, shadowy spectre looked through the window.

Galvanized by the presence of the uninvited visitor, he indicated, by smashing a window, that he urgently needed assistance, and a local man sauntered over to offer it. He grabbed Mr Woodson in a kind of headlock, and twisted his head so violently, that it nearly left his shoulders, before the bone was finally wrenched from its moorings in his throat.

The police were called to ask them to investigate whether or not there had been any foul play on his wife's part, but merely told Mr. Woodson to get on with his tea.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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