Man's Headphones Are Fucked

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 4 November 2018

image for Man's Headphones Are Fucked
A pair of headphones

A music lover in the Battambang commune of Tapon is ruing his decision to allow his two young children to use his headphones this evening, after discovering that they are now not quite as effective as they once were.

The headphones, by Microlab, were purchased by Moys Kenwood, 55, in Battambang a year ago, for the very reasonable price of US $14. Despite not being a pair of 'Beats' by Dr. Dre, they were able to adequately transmit sound from his computer into his ears, so that he could listen to music.

Pestered relentlessly by his kids, however, he buckled under their constant pressure, and allowed them to play at 'putting Daddy's headphones on'. When his wife called from the other room in an agitated manner, he sprang from his seat to see what the matter was. It was a big spider.

The spider having been dispatched to the Great Web In The Sky, Kenwood returned to resume listening to his music. Sadly, this was not possible. The cable attached to the left earpiece had obviously made a failed escape bid, and was now hanging limply out of its socket. On closer examination, this proved critical to the headphones, which, as a going concern, were now fucked.

Kenwood's 3-year-old daughter told him:

"Daddy, we can't hear anything. It's not working."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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