Showdown at The Bonesaw Corral: Saudi Arabia reveals what happened

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 20 October 2018

image for Showdown at The Bonesaw Corral: Saudi Arabia reveals what happened
Whether pigs do fly must wait until after the midterms

On Friday evening Saudi Arabia finally set the record straight on what happened October 2 in the Istanbul Consulate.

Previous explanations were not lies. They were "impressions" that had not been properly rinsed and dried.

Laundering officials within The Kingdom have been arrested.

*It was not this: Mr. Khashoggi went out the back door somewhere and wandered off;

*Nor this: he never arrived at the consulate in the first place, with all the reports “completely baseless”;

*Nor this: there never was a plan to kidnap him and take him back to Saudi Arabia, despite US intelligence on this matter;

*Nor this: he was a victim of a rogue operation gone wrong.

Also note: the King and MbS knew absolutely nothing about any of this.

Instead--

It was a fist fight. Mr. Khashoggi went down, dismembering himself as he fell.

When Mr. Khashoggi entered the consulate he immediately encountered a group of 15 men who flew in that day to interview him.

One of these was a surgeon with a bone saw, as well as being a highly placed minister in the Saudi Government.

Seven of the men were personal bodyguards to MbS.

These men very kindly asked Mr. Khashoggi a few questions, but Khashoggi flew into a rage and began attacking the group.

At age 60 he was a demon of strength and energy.

He took on the fifteen men with his fists and pinned each of them down with one or the other of his considerably weighty knees.

The medical man with the bone saw was forced to come forward—only to have the bone saw snatched from his grasp and himself threatened!

Meanwhile, the other men lay groaning and squirming on the floor.

These were the horrible sounds reported by the Turks on their tapes--coming not from Mr. Khashoggi but his victims.

Then, after the bone saw had been wrestled away from the medical man, Mr. Khashoggi suddenly decapitated himself!

It will now be possible for the world to return to business as usual and re-enroll in an upcoming Saudi “vision” Conference.

Mr. Trump has noted that this affair, as with the Kavanaugh problem recently, should have absolutely NO effect on the upcoming midterm elections.

Whether pigs do sometimes fly is another question, but that issue must wait for the time being, because Matters of Security and Commerce for The Nation need attention.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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