School Director Spoke As If He Had Wooden Jaws

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 12 September 2018

image for School Director Spoke As If He Had Wooden Jaws
Gottle of geer!

The Director of a school in Bangkok spoke in such a way that, anyone listening to him would have assumed that the man's jaws had been fashioned from wood.

The man, who can't be named because I don't fancy the repercussions, looked rather like he was gritting his teeth when he spoke, reminiscent of an evil Geordie gangster making some sinister threat.

Alternatively, he could quite easily pass for a ventriloquist's dummy: square-jawed, a mouth full of clenched tushy-pegs, wide-eyed, head jerking side-to-side, uttering the macabre phrase:

"Gottle of geer! Gottle of geer!" again and again and again and again. And again.

One teacher at the school referred to the Director as:

"A smiling buffoon".

A comical routine that is played out every morning was this one:

Foreign Teacher: "Good morning."
School Director: "Yes, good morning. How are you?"
Foreign Teacher: "I'm fine, thank you."
School Director: "Yes, fine, thank you." (despite not having been asked.)
Foreign Teacher looks at School Director as if he is some kind of imbecile, which he is.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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