Written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 11 August 2018

image for German man-eating mini squirrel terrorises village, not Hamlin!
Nutty mini-squirrel from hell, not a bat, terrorises German family!

An emergency call in Karlsruhe, Germany, had the local emergency authorities hitting the autobahn with impunity after a man-eating mini squirrel was seen in a cellar terrorising the owner!

Flashing blue lights, fire-engines, and ambulances screeched to a halt, and a special German SAS squad turned up too, armed and dressed in battle dress with machine guns!

They blasted the front door open and found the male house owner terrified and, barricaded in the bog!

"Wo is ze dam squirrel?" The SAS sergeant yelled!

"In ze keller und meine frau has scheissed in her bloomers!" Replied the owner!

The SAS blasted open the cellar door, police followed, only to find the mini-squirrel sleeping and caressing its nuts in a dark corner on a sack of rotting potatoes!

Luckily, one of the police was also a member of the local RSPCA, so, before the SAS could empty their machine guns on the mini-squirrel, he produced a steel glove, dived on the sleeping beast and, saved it from a trip to hell where it seemed to have come from!

The squirrel is now locked up behind bars at the local zoo and has been nicknamed, Herr Himmler, in fact, the owner of the house swore it had a swastika tattooed on its bushy, brown tail!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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