Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 3 May 2018

image for Facebook Approach Was 'All Wrong'
Not Mr Usman

A man who made overtures on Facebook to the stepdaughter of a writer from the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, got his approach all wrong, in my opinion.

Rajput Kig Rana Usman, a Pakistani gentleman, made Facebook friends with one of Moys Kenwood's stepdaughters, Helley, 18, and sent her pathetic requests for sex for over a month, but, because Helley had no command of the English language, and could not understand his vernacular, his requests fell flat.

Eventually, Mr Usman decided to play his trump card: using Messenger to set up a face-to-face videolink with Helley, he masturbated frantically in front of her, causing her, and several watching friends, to chuckle, before she 'unfriended' him.

Stepdad, Kenwood, commented:

"This was a shocking display of manners. Quite what was going through this chap's mind is difficult to comprehend. Interestingly, when I looked down his Facebook page, I saw a photo of a pigeon with a bomb strapped to its back.
I think Helley's better off without him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sex, Facebook, Pakistan, Islam

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