Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 3 May 2018

image for Facebook Approach Was 'All Wrong'
Not Mr Usman

A man who made overtures on Facebook to the stepdaughter of a writer from the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, got his approach all wrong, in my opinion.

Rajput Kig Rana Usman, a Pakistani gentleman, made Facebook friends with one of Moys Kenwood's stepdaughters, Helley, 18, and sent her pathetic requests for sex for over a month, but, because Helley had no command of the English language, and could not understand his vernacular, his requests fell flat.

Eventually, Mr Usman decided to play his trump card: using Messenger to set up a face-to-face videolink with Helley, he masturbated frantically in front of her, causing her, and several watching friends, to chuckle, before she 'unfriended' him.

Stepdad, Kenwood, commented:

"This was a shocking display of manners. Quite what was going through this chap's mind is difficult to comprehend. Interestingly, when I looked down his Facebook page, I saw a photo of a pigeon with a bomb strapped to its back.
I think Helley's better off without him.
"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Sex, Facebook, Pakistan, Islam




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
70 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more