Paleontology Department at Harvard to study Student group's demand

Written by W.P. Wonder

Thursday, 26 January 2017

image for Paleontology Department at Harvard to study Student group's demand
Leave me out of it.

"Trigger Words" wanted removed from classification of ancient hominid.

A local student rights group, centered out of Bud Hert Hall, has demanded a renaming of one of this planet's ancient inhabitants. Though not seen for eons, this human-type's presence is being felt on one of America's most prestigious centers of learning.

"The name of this apish creature is offensive to many of the student body, especially our alternative lifestyle members," declared advocate Rick Stroke, during a recent assembly set up to address the grievance. "It just reinforces the stereotype that some members of our global community can be distinguished by their libido."

The Paleontologist Chief, Clay Spade, promised to give the request determined consideration. When he asked for suggestions, some rowdy interlopers from Phi Beta Sudsy chimed in with unhelpful suggestions:

Homo Johnsonus, Homo Bulgus, Homo Pokerus , Homo Stiffyus , followed up with the most incendiary, Homo Hardonus.

Instead, after the inebriated irritants were run off, the top three suggestions for renaming Homo Erectus that Professor Clay promised to submit for consideration to the Paleontological Society were:

Homo Vigorous;
Homo Enthrallus; and lastly,
Homo Eroticus.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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