Written by Backandtotheleft

Thursday, 4 August 2016

In response to our exclusive piece on the Boko Haram leadership change, the old beady eyed leader Abubaker Shekau has launched a furious attack on his supposed replacement. But like most of Boko Haram's "furious attacks" it didn't really produce any results.
Abubaker Sherkau has whined, like a rapist getting a life sentence, that Abu Musab al-Barnawi has attempted to stage a coup. He even managed to keep a straight face when saying it despite the fact that's exactly what he's trying to do to Nigeria's government

He said he had been invited to send his ideology in writing to his overlords in ISIS because he is soooooo important. The ideology was expected to be several chapters long but Sherkau obviously ran out of ideas after a paragraph. After a paragraph of pencil crayoned scrawled ranting nonsense he just drew a bunch of pictures. One captioned "Me in a awesome tank driving over all the infidels" it was a crude sketch of him waving from a tank. Another was just the word "BOOM!!!" dragged over several pages. This was clearly a insight into one of the greatest minds of the 21st Century.

Unfortunately Abu Musab al-Barnwi isn't a school girl or a unarmed civilian he can murder with a superior force. He is a unhinged, public bus masturbating, wank stain like himself, one who has hundreds of dog bumming fucktards willing to wave a AK-47 around for him.

Two grown men arguing over who's in charge of a bunch of murderers, who hide behind a religious ideology so that they can behave like dicks, is like two Labradors arguing over who's turd it is on the carpet.

A Nigerian army representative chipped in with:

Hopefully these fucking morons will grind each other into the dust over this stupid shit and leave their deformed corpses strewn, unloved in the wasteland. We wouldn't even use their decomposing bodies as fertilizer in case the crops become contaminated with the same sense of wankerish entitlement they've got.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
88 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more