Apocalypse Entrepreneur Offers $3m Bunker To Racketeering NYC Lawyer Steven Donziger

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 26 December 2014

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Go, Randy!

New York - If the world comes to an end in 2015 for convicted RICO lawyer Steven Donziger, where on earth could he turn to?

That is the karmic poser being studied by the office of the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York amid a Festive Midwinter campaign by the Armageddon prepping industry peddling survival bunkers for the reality challenged.

Ecuadorian Pollution Scam-peddling NYC lawyer Donziger is one of the preppers' luminaries being urged to consider a lifetime investment in a survival bunker, deep underground in a converted nuclear missile silo somewhere in the middle of nowehere in USA.

"Best chance the guy's got," Doomsday entrepreneur Dr Einstein Flintstone commented after describing a lifetime's work building the ultimate in survival hideaways for edge-of-the-precipice arses like the NYC creep.

According to Flintstone's website the entrepreneur sells to up-market 'preppers' - part of a growing American industry preparing for imminent catastrophe - and/or imminent arrest by the FBI for trying to scam $19.8bn from US super major Chevron.

"Preppers believe the world will soon end through natural disasters, terrorist attacks or economic collapse," Dr Flintstone explained, "not to mention that dawn knock on the front door by the FBI's anti-racketeering unit."

Donziger's $3m dugout has been described as boasting military-grade securiity with long range cameras sprouting from the top of the bunker. A security control centre underground with direct telecoms links to Ecuador's President Rafael Correa is also on offer.

Sure glad that Chevron lead lawyer in the RICO litigation is Randy Mastro!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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