Donald Trump Threatens Spoof Reporter, Hints At Death Contract

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

image for Donald Trump Threatens Spoof Reporter, Hints At Death Contract
Referring to the press Donald Trump said, "In the old days you would take out a hit on these people."

At a press conference, Donald Trump launched an unprecedented attack on the press, even singling out this reporter and The Spoof for special attention.

"This Xrhonda Speaks and the website The Spoof are one of the worst examples of a dishonest press. In the old days someone would take out a hit on them, but we don't do that anymore, we have to be nice to them, even though they lie all the time."

The Don's long game is to keep his hardcore followers skeptical of the media and therefore inoculate himself from any bad revelations, and so far it's worked: Trump supporters don't believe any of his bad press.

Trump threatened retaliation, and claimed that this reporter and presumably our publishers could face the death penalty for libel in Saudi Arabia.

"We're looking at suing Xrhonda Speaks, maybe in England where the press can't hide behind freedom of speech laws like here, and by the way when I'm president we're going to open up the libel laws so these losers, who no one has even heard of, can be sued. Maybe we can sue them in Saudi Arabia, my lawyers are looking into that. They could also face the death penalty in Saudi Arabia if they were found guilty of libeling a member of the royal family."

WTH? Candidate Trump is threatening journalists working in a free press with a death sentence?

Forward to the next day and Katrina Pierson, a totally insane Trump spokesman, talked about Trump's death penalty threats in a CNN interview with Jake Tapper.

"Donald Trump's son George Robert Trump and his partner several years ago adopting a child from Saudi Arabia." Pierson then made this bizarre connection, "If genetic tests show the child has any relationship to the royal family, this journalist Xrhonda Speaks, if you can call her a journalist, and the people who publish her filth, they could be guilty under libel laws in Saudi Arabia for insulting a member of the royal family. And Jake it's true, some people have been put to death in Saudi Arabia for insulting the royal family in the press."

The Saudi Minister of Foreign Affairs, Adel al-Jubeir, was quick to dismiss Trump's claims of his grandson being of royal heritage.

"This man is like a rabid dog, now he's insulting our royal family with this fabricated story of adopting a child from the royal family. We have considered the US as a strong ally, but would reassess the relationship if the American voters were to actually elect Donald Trump as president."

Ironically, Trump's attack has quadrupled traffic to The Spoof and other websites this reporter contributes to.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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