Trump denies California drought wins MPPC award and extra doughnuts for his next rally

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 29 May 2016

image for Trump denies California drought wins MPPC award and extra doughnuts for his next rally
Activist smelt leader tells CNN "Our research indicates Mr. Trump knows nothing about this issue."

Mr. Trump's award from Washington's prestigious IDD (Institute for Distortion and Delusion) comes as no surprise for this year.

Mr. Trump easily carried the vote for The Most Popular Political Circus Award, with outstanding merit for sedulously bamboozling the public and "lying with white teeth."

Mr. Nolan Froyd, CEO of IDD, added that Mr. Trump was the most successful politician in US history to have "vaulted his ego into the most important factor in a presidential election, ever."

The latest example of Mr. Trump's presidential qualifications is his current denial, "There is no drought in California."

According to Trump the water shortage in California is a conspiracy by federal government agencies to divert water from well-deserving corporate farmers in the Sacramento area.

The Bundy family and relatives of LaVoy Finicum threw out long cheers and held a news conference pointing out similarities between the California drought and what happened in Oregon last winter.

Furthermore, according to the Trump camp, there is no global warming, and the continuing elevation of temperatures across the globe is also contrived.

"The seas off Manhattan feel the same to me," Mr. Trump stated. "No warmer, no cooler, since I was a boy. And those islands that disappeared in Micronesia never existed in the first place."

Presentation of Mr. Trump's MPPC award drew five minutes of screaming audience and global media attention as cameras battled.

On the California drought, Mr. Trump squeezed in a few words with, "Saving a few smelt instead of The Big Farm Industry seems smelly to me, and as President I won't stand for it!"

Protesters in the hall at this point held up signs reading, "Trump smells to high heaven" and the Candidate flexed his right thumb, adding, "Kick 'em outta here!"

In a news conference following Mr. Trump was asked what would be his first steps as the new President.

He answered in considerable detail, with these policies foremost:

*a large statue of himself will be erected on The White House lawn holding an axe in the style of lumberjack sculpture in the northwest

*he will hold daily news conferences on "the world according to Donald Trump" with additional evening sessions as necessary

*global leaders will be summoned to Washington and told to cooperate or else

*California's smelt issue will be denied and the smelt required to get a life without relying on government handouts

As to global warming he said: "Look, what do I know? I'll research it and if there's something there I'll act presidential. Believe me I know what I'm doing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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