Hillary exonerated by Gucifer and paralegal II CDC # J123675 for email crimes.

Funny story written by User 10

Wednesday, 1 June 2016


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Many supporters deny, blame others or just ignore the facts that 2016 presidential candidate queen hillary violated at least four federal statutes by using an email server in a grandmother's closet, just below her leopard skin girdle, while filling the position of secretary of state. Spoof news legal analyst paralegal II CDC # J123675 has repeatedly stressed that "this aint no small shit for a normal citizen but don't mean piss for a queen with a political get out of jail free card and white privilege and she a millionaire, hell, she'll slide outta this like a burglar in a blind man's house."

In his recent appearances on Facebook and You Tube J123675 told his 86 followers that the witness list in the FBI probe will include Hacker Guccifer, whose real name is Marcel Lehel Lazar.

The hacker was credited with releasing emailed doodles of naked cartoon characters drawn by Bill Clinton. These doodles of such lovable characters as Popeye, Pluto and Barney Ruble sporting large erections were distributed by President Clinton on his own server stored in the coat closet of the Foxy Lady Gentleman's Club in Thailand.

The former president, and noted intern trainer, spends much of his time talking about human sex trafficking as part of his role as an observer for the Clinton Global Initiative.

It is not known if Lazar, aka "Guccifer", will be making a deal with the Attorney General to disappear or testify in the legal proceedings says J123675.

Lazar's claims to have of accessed Clinton's server on many, many occasions. "I used to look at the pictures of her and her daughter to help my addiction to sex, then I'd get up and do the laundry or something, but I never once looked at the top secret satellite images or secret emails about Benghazi or anything else secret from her work" Lazar told the Spoof news website in a facetime interview.

As more is learned about what the former secretary of state was trying to hide with her illegal server her followers continue to believe it is just a right wing conspiracy. They now believe the non-partisan state department IG is now part of the conspiracy because the state department IG report claims she was wrong and violated rules, violated the law and ignored warnings by other state department employees.

J123675 stays on Hillary's side having previously predicted that "There way damn to many politicians and bureaucrats involved in the perpetration from the top donor to the top man in da white house himself" for them to let her go to court because "they got skin in the game."

J123675 summed it up using an analogy. "If I gots me a second cell phone my old lady don't know about what you think it's for? Ya know damn well it's for my side hoes. I'm tryna hide some shit cuz I know ima do somthin wrong. It's the same damn shit with some politicians, they break the rules cause they know damn well they gonna screw some shit up or take some bribes or some shit and try to hide it later cuz they know they got some supporters no matter what but they need some in the middle too to get the next election."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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