Winter has been abolished, says PM

Funny story written by Whistleblower

Sunday, 29 May 2016

The Prime Minister announced yesterday that Winter will be abolished from next year. He said "We have had a lot of complaints about the cold weather, particularly from senior citizens, and have decided to do something about it." He added "It will take us some time to establish the procedures for abolishing Winter, so we are unable to do it this year, but people will have a year without Winter to look forward to next year."

He said that people have long moaned about the weather and the Government not doing anything about it, so now that the Government has made a move in the right direction they can stop whinging and forget all about the cold weather.

The Prime Minister added that the Bureau of Meteorology will be overseeing the project, since they have the expertise and experience in dealing with the weather necessary to successfully bring about the changes in the most efficient and user-friendly way.

A leading meteorologist applauded the Government's move. In a statement read at a news conference this morning, he said "The Bureau of Meteorology has always taken a lot of criticism for not doing something about the bad weather, but now, in partnership with the Government, we are at last doing something about it. We see this move as a positive step that will solve the many problems that people have with the weather."

Having seen the Government's long-term plans he said that it looks very pleasing and he is sure that once things settle down a bit after the change, people will be very happy with the new climate. "The Government has some very exciting plans about improving the weather." he said. He added that it is all highly confidential at the moment and he is not at liberty to discuss it further.

The general view of people interviewed in the street was "wait and see". In general, people complained that the Government never gets anything right, so they will wait and see how it all turns out before committing themselves. Despite this pessimism, people were generally in support of the idea of improving the weather. One elderly gentleman, tottering along with two walking sticks, said that getting rid of winter would do the world of good for his arthritis.

"We also believe that this will help to solve the Global Warming problem. Since Spring is not as hot as summer there won't be so much heat to make the atmosphere and ground hotter." the Prime Minister said.

A leading climatologist applauded the Government's move to do something about the weather and Global Warming and added "They have taken an important step and are showing the rest of the world a sensible way to cope with and solve the problem. It is obvious that the weather has an effect on Global Warming and making it cooler all year round must make a significant difference to the total heat build up."

If abolishing Winter works out well the Government will take action to abolish Summer because many people do not like the heat, and Autumn because the falling leaves cause trouble on the roads and elsewhere. Their intention is that then people will have Spring all year round. The Prime Minister added "Since everyone agrees that Spring is the best time of the year, everyone will be happy with the weather all year round."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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