Australia introduces Sharia Law

Written by Whistleblower

Thursday, 21 April 2016

The Australian Minister for Culture and Law, Ms Marjory Daw, yesterday announced that Sharia (Islamic) Law will now be part of the Australian legal system. She added, "In response to an unprecedented demand, Sharia Law will be introduced into Australia and will gradually take over and replace the current legal system."

She said that court action under Sharia Laws will immediately become available to anyone who chooses it. The old Common Law will still be in force for a limited time to give practitioners time to adjust to the new system. The intention is to gradually phase out the old laws and legal system within the next five years. At that stage all the remaining old laws will be abolished and everyone must observe Sharia Law.

All cases brought to the courts under Sharia Law will be decided by appointed imams who will be the sole authorities and decision makers under the new laws. There will be no appeals since there will be no higher courts: The imams' decisions will be final and irrevocable. The old law courts and judicial system will be replaced by Islamic courts whose rulings will be based solely on The Holy Qur'an which will replace the old Common Law and legislation as the source of all legal decisions.

The chief imam of Australia praised the Australian government. He said "The decision to implement Sharia Law is wonderful news for all Islamic people everywhere and will benefit all Australians. Islamic people coming into Australia will no longer have to adapt to a culture and outdated legal system that doesn't make sense to them. They will simply be able to continue living as they always have done. It will be just like they never left their home country!"

The imam also expressed the hope that the Australian government would see sense and introduce Arabic as the national language to replace English. He added that it is a logical follow-up to the introduction of Sharia Law, since The Holy Qur'an can never be properly and adequately translated into languages less perfect than Arabic. He explained that "The Holy Qur'an was revealed to Mohammed in the perfect language Arabic, which is the language of Allah ('Praised May He Always Be'). Therefore to translate it into any other language would corrupt the holy words."

The imam added that, since everyone knows that Allah ('Praised Be His Name'), Islam and The Holy Qur'an are all perfect and unchanging, the introduction of Sharia Law will bring Australia into the forefront of legal history. It will no longer be necessary for people to learn new laws as circumstances change and the government passes new legislation. "In fact," he added, "Parliament will no longer be needed. The Holy Qur'an is perfect and unchangeable and since it is already perfect it won't need changing anyway. Parliament is now redundant and will be abolished."

As part of the change the old Australian Constitution will be abolished and all rights and privileges of citizens will be as stated in The Holy Qur'an which will become the sole source of law and citizens' rights.

The imam went on to explain that, under Sharia Law, all religions other than Islam will be banned. "Since Islam is well known as the one perfect religion the other, false religions, will no longer have a place in our culture." he explained. It is expected that everyone will convert to Islam. Refusal will be a capital offence and those people who refuse to convert will be beheaded, after being forced to convert for their own good, by torture if necessary. "If any mis-guided person criticises or even discusses The Holy Qur'an, apart from praising its holy perfection, they will also be beheaded." said the imam.

Leading legal authorities declined to comment on the introduction of Sharia Law into Australia since their comments might be taken as criticism and thus be a capital offense under the new laws.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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