London, UK - The CEO of a bankrupt EU outfit has predicted that Friday's solar eclipse is a Judgement Day Finger of Cod message for European hystery.
Phil the Greek, aka the Duke of Edinburgh, blames reckless Germans for his terrible position despite c*untless welfare bail outs by successive governments.
Tomorrow's eclipsed Pisces new moon sits squarely on his zodiac chart's matrimonial angle where ancient German blood money still rules the roost.
The astrological conjunction is being described as one of the year's four Blood Moons, celestial phenomena traditionally linked to stonking great big royal welfare handouts.
It will be followed on 4 April by the year's second sanguinary lunation which, Phil points out, will see the eclipsed Fool Moon fall on the first anniversary of President Obama's celebration of Greek National Indepndence Day.
A third Blood Moon of 2015 notably falls on September 13 which Greek Jews traditionally celebrate as the The Feast of Trumpets commemorating major karmic events in Philip's family hystery.
These are the 1843 Greek Army rebellion against the autocratic rule of King Otto of Greece and the 1922 Great Fire of Smyrna, the grand finale of the Greco-Turkish Whore. War.
The year's final Blood Moon will appear on his November wedding anniversary to Queen Elizardbirth, a 'tight-fisted Hitlerian' who keeps her husband on a very short leash.
Commenting on Prince Philip's anguished prediction a Palace spokesperson said 'It's full of shit.'.