Written by Moe Nightwalker

Saturday, 14 March 2015

image for Daesh (aka, ISIS) Whistleblower Speaks to Press

Daesh uses the Western culture's social media while decrying western culture, a whistleblower has revealed.

Aasim Al Honest, who spent years consulting to Daesh and Boko Haram, sent emails to leaders explaining his concerns about both organizations use of electronics and social media. Unable to get the organizations to change, he became a whistleblower.

"I kept saying that they can't denounce western culture while using smart phones, email, the internet, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, etc. They even use trucks and machine guns. None of these things would be possible without western society's culture and education. I told them to either behave like Amish or stop complaining. They're hypocrites," Al Honest explained.

He continued on about the TV shows that they love. The Islamic freedom fighters watch The Bachelor, American Idol, Shark Tank, The Kardashians, Dancing with the Stars, and reruns of Will & Grace.

Since the organizations have not changed their ways, Al Honest decided to become a whistleblower. He started by explaining the hypocrites on recruiting sites but realized that with all the intelligence in western society, very few teenagers knew what "hypocrite" meant. He then started to encourage possible recruits from using those same tools -- effectively making it impossible for them to communicate with the recruits.

Those efforts didn't work, so he is now turning to the press to explain how much these organizations embrace western culture. He told a Parisian newspaper that he feels like a hypocrite himself -- fighting for the elimination of western influences on his beloved organizations but having to use the western press to help reach his goal.

"Please, ask the press to please remind people each time these groups use western technology. They should say 'Daesh used twitter, the western invention they decry, to recruit westerners to help them.' In so doing, they may help me to purify these groups."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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