Written by queen mudder

Monday, 1 December 2014

image for IS jihadis grooming flock of Mongolian ostriches for bomb vest attacks
Suicide ostriches bring the added chaos of 220lbs of feathers, guts and gore

Syrian Border, Middle East - The renegades' drone program took a sinister twist today after a heavily kitted out ostrich was captured by Iraqi farces complete with bomb vest, surveillance camera and GPS tracker ahead of a covert suicide mission.

Orinthologists at Baghdad Zoo said they'd identified the creature as the Lesser Spotted Mongolian Ostrich, Struthio Camelus Mongoliensis, a sometime native of Madagascar before the Boar War (Come off it! -'Ed')

They believe a 150-strong flock of the huge 7ft tall birds is being groomed for deployment on a dastardly mission to blow up strategic military installations guarding Iraqi oil fields.

Commenting on the capture a forensic psychiatrist with the Iraqi mounted police said that what many people don't realise is that ostrich feathers can themselves be lethal when set alight and the fumes inhaled.

The same can be said for peacocks, emus and grouse.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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